REFLECTIONS
by
John Holthe
Amid the concrete jungles of SWOSU exists a creature known as first-yearus Freshmanus. These creatures exhibit a potential for high intelligence and a place in modern society if it weren't for the fact that they are not as cool as the Second-yearus Sophomorus, the Just-about-outtahereus Juniorus and the Sogladus-I-graduatedus Seniorus.
In an attempt to "coolify" these creatures, upper class-men have voiced these tips.
1. Barhopping will not fulfill your PE requirements.
2. Get involved with an organization like a fraternity or sorority. (The KKK is not a fraternity.)
3. There is no female freshman welcoming committee.
4. Information to get to a building should not cost money.
5. Don't ask the librarian how come they don't carry Playboy or Playgirl magazines.
6. If you fall down, blame it on a piece of fallen ozone layer.
7. Don't tell people your major is male or female anatomy.
8. Never announce that you have food in your room.
9. Don't get drunk before a test.
10. Don't carry a map and compass when going to class.
11. if you are in the restroom in Neff Hall or Stewart Hall, yell "Incoming!" when flushing the toilet if someone is in the shower when the toilet needs flushing.
12. Don't look for "the subway".
13. Don't write a letter to yourself just to get mail.
14. Don't spend time on the phone asking, "Do you have Prince Albert in a can?"
15. Do not be surprised if most of the faculty has the first name of Dean.
16. Your backpack should not weigh more than you do.
17. Do not be surprised to learn that Microbiology is the study of short people.
18. Don't remind teachers if they forgot to assign homework.
19. Don't address a faculty member as "Dude".
20. Never console a football player who just lost the championship game by saying, "It's just a game."
21. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you really need it because we were all Freshmen once-several were twice. Oh, by the way, you're backpack is supposede to fit over just one shoulder.
